Appendix 6 · free
Thirty days, thirty minutes.
A programme that works on its own — ten minutes a day.
C.0 How it works
You need nothing but a notebook and ten minutes. No app, no course, no company.
Rules:
- One exercise a day, at the same time of day. In the morning before coffee, or in the evening before sleep.
- Do not skip and then double up. If you miss a day — continue tomorrow, don't do two.
- Write by hand. Not for romance — because the hand slows thought, and slowed thought is more accurate.
- It doesn't have to be good. This isn't school. This is watching.
Why thirty days: long enough for a difference to appear, short enough not to give up.
And one warning: if during the programme you meet something that overwhelms you — stop. Not everything at once. It is not a race.
The week's aim: to start seeing what is already happening to you.
Day 1 — Snapshot, not plan
Take a page and write, without correcting: I am __ years old. I do ______, and it has lasted __ years. Not mine: ______. Someone else's: ______. I am afraid of: ______. I don't know: ______. Don't plan anything. This is a photograph, not a plan.
Day 2 — Three repetitions
Write three things that repeat for you. The same conversation, the same problem, the same feeling. For each one: for how long?
Day 3 — The sentence of the stage
From appendix 4, find your sentence. Write it at the top of the page. Then write: do I say it, or do I carry it?
Day 4 — What I won't
Write ten things you definitely don't want in the next year. Not “I want”. I won't. It is easier, and more accurate.
Day 5 — One person
Write the name of one person to whom you could say something that doesn't look nice. If there is no name — write that. That is an important piece of data, and the third week deals with it.
Day 6 — Where am I in this
Take yesterday's day. Write three things you did for others, and none for yourself. Not to be scolded. To see the distribution.
Day 7 — Silence
Ten minutes without a phone, without music, without work. Sit. Don't meditate. Don't try anything. Just sit and let thoughts come. Afterwards write: what came first?
The week's aim: to see how a sentence works. The meta model, in your own head.
Day 8 — “I must”
Write all the “I must” in your life. Every one. Then next to each write: who said that? Almost every time it will be empty.
Day 9 — “What happens if not”
Choose one “I must” from yesterday's list and ask yourself: what happens if not? Write the worst case, in detail. Then write the most likely case. The difference between them is the whole diagnosis.
Day 10 — “I can't”
Write five “I can't” from your life. Beside each: is it “I don't know how”, “I mustn't”, or “I won't”?
Day 11 — “Always” and “never”
Write three sentences that begin with “always” or “never”, about yourself. Then check each one: give me one day when it wasn't so.
Day 12 — Whose words are these
Remember one sentence about yourself that you have carried all your life. (“I'm not the one for that.” “You are restless.” “Nothing will come of you.”) Write it. Then write: whose voice is that? Not the content — the voice.
Day 13 — One proof against
For that sentence, write one concrete event that contradicts it. Not a feeling. An event. Date, place, what happened.
Day 14 — Same event, different frame
Take one event from your life that still hurts. Write it in five sentences, without interpretation. Then write the same event from the position of an observer — as if watching a film about two people. What do you see from there that you didn't see from your own place?
The week's aim: to learn to enter and leave a state, without outside help.
Day 15 — Where in the body
When you think about what weighs on you — where do you feel it in your body? Write: place, size, heat, weight. Not a metaphor — specifically.
Day 16 — Breath
Three times a day, three minutes: exhale longer than you inhale. It is not meditation. It is the nearest door into a system that responds immediately. Afterwards write: what changed, if anything changed?
Day 17 — Anchor
Find one place on your body that feels peaceful — hand, foot, a place on your chest. Standing, press it and remember one moment when you were genuinely well. Twenty seconds. Release. Repeat three times.
Day 18 — Anchor test
During the day, in an ordinary situation, press the same place. Twenty seconds. Write: did it appear? If not — fine, day 17 wasn't enough. Repeat it tomorrow.
Day 19 — Image
Remember something that irritates you. Notice what the image in your head is like: big? close? dark? strong? You don't change it. Just look.
Day 20 — Same image, smaller
Take the same image and make it smaller. Move it further away. Brighten it. Write: what changed in the feeling? If nothing changed — that is good, it is a data point. Not everyone is visual.
Day 21 — One thing that works
From this week, choose one thing that really helped you. Just one. Write it on a card and put it where you will see it.
The week's aim: one step, one boundary, one conversation.
Day 22 — One step
Choose one thing you are putting off. Not big. Write the smallest possible first step — so small it is funny (“open the email”, “write the first sentence”). Do it today.
Day 23 — Boundary
Write one thing you don't want touched. Specifically: time, topic, body, work. Then write one sentence to say it. Short. No explanation.
Day 24 — Stating the boundary
Say that sentence, once, to the person who needs to hear it. Write: what happened? If nothing happened — write that too. That is the most common outcome.
Day 25 — The conversation you are postponing
Write the name of a person and the topic of a conversation you have been postponing for months. You don't have to have it today. Just write the topic in one sentence.
Day 26 — First step of that conversation
Write the first sentence you would start that conversation with. Not the whole conversation. Just the first sentence. Then say it aloud, alone, in the room.
Day 27 — Have it, or leave it
Either have the conversation from day 25 — or write: “I won't have it, and here is why.” Both are decisions. Only waiting is not.
Day 28 — What I would say to myself ten years ago
Write ten sentences. Short. No internet wisdom.
Day 29 — What I would say to myself in ten years
Write ten sentences. Same rules.
Day 30 — What has changed
Read everything you have written in thirty days — in order. Then write one page: what changed? If nothing changed in the outside life — write what changed in the seeing. That is change, and it usually comes first.
C.1 What comes after thirty days
Not another thirty-day programme for another thirty days. That is a trap — the programme becomes a substitute for life.
Three things remain:
- One exercise that worked. Not all of them. One. Do it when needed.
- One question that opened. The one that hit hardest — use it when you are stuck.
- One sentence from day 28. Read it in a year.
And one thing that does not continue: keeping a diary for the sake of the diary. If writing serves no purpose after thirty days — stop. A book is not an obligation.
C.2 If it gets stuck
| What you feel | What you do |
|---|---|
| “This is stupid” | carry on for three days. If it is still stupid — change the exercise. |
| “I don't have time” | reduce it to three minutes. Three minutes is enough not to stop. |
| “I don't feel anything” | write what you don't feel. That is data. |
| “I am overwhelmed” | stop. Come back in a week. It is not needed all at once. |
| “Nothing changes” | check whether you are doing the exercises or reading them. |
| “I can't go on” | day 5 is for that. Find one person. |
Thirty days doesn't change life. But it changes whether you see it. And that is the only thing a book can promise.